Saturday, April 28, 2001

Dont think you can escape from the evil of Australia just by leaving the country.
This morning was a seemingly normal kind of morning traffic on the sidewalks, smog in the sky, no birds trees or nature of any kind to be seen, when BAM!
I got on the subway only to be faced with a fake smiling poster of... you will never guess.... I screetched....I will give you a hint, she won the girlfriend model search, or Dolly or whatever...Her boyfriend had a black comedy lovers dream demise via some heavy farming equipment? Yes that is right. Miranda-I-am-obviously-out-of-place-here-Kerr.
The Japanese love the eighties. And the younger generation are pulling it off quite well. However the thirty year olds have simply taken the fashion cycle to mean they can re-ware their original wardrobe without altering anything. I am afraid Miranda was obviously dressed by the latter. The one thick black strap on a lavender sequinned top with mauve pearl earrings... I was proud to have an Australian gaijin modelling because there are so few gaijin models here, but it was a fairly unfortunate shoot!
Anyways I was so shocked I practically screetched the place down, but there are next to no gaijin models here so it is a pretty good achievement for her. I am obviously trying to ignore my australian instincts and bag her out (tall poppy syndrome I know!) so I won't.
I had a really lonely day today. I dont know why. I just did. I went to Volleyball and a few things clicked today which was nice. I once read a book that spoke about the ''Mind-nubming salve of routine'' and volleyball is that exactly. It is almost always the same so I dont need to think or understand Japanese too much and I just go go go until its over and knock all my frustrations out on the ball and I am not lonely. But today I finished and three hours wasnt enough. I needed more time to be mind numbed.
Crazy isnt it? Oh well you win some you loose some.
Take care, feel free to email me
Claire xxx
posted by Claire English @ 7:33 PM

Friday, April 27, 2001

Hi all!
Thank you for your entry in the guest book soph. You are such a funny munt. I practically peed my pants. Anywho. Life is stranger and stranger I swear. I just get these funny flashes of thought whilst doing the simplest things. Like yesterday when we were in the middle of sprints for volleyball and (we were getting to the stage where everyones legs stop working and start flailing around pathetically) I got this insane image in my head of drunk ducks on cocaine.
These girls really did look like druken ducks as their limbs were struggling to keep up with their bodies and their arms were looking like wings and they were wavering all over the track, but at the same time they were so self centred and concentrating on looking great and were so arrogant with their heads held high that i wondered if someone had spiked their drinks with cocaine! But I dont imagine that sort of thing happens to nice innocent girls such as ourselves so they must just be that way naturally.

But it was so funny I couldnt get it out of my head and had to stop sprinting to laugh hysterically.
I believe I am going nuts. But life is good. I had art with my funky friends today, they have their own band called 'met-met' (whatever that means) and they are so cute. They sing greenday songs and i suspect they sing them very poorly, but its nice that they are trying.
I am going on a field trip on sunday to kamakura with my school so I will take some photos of me and miss swiss and scan them in if i can find a scanner that works. I was going to use this entry to write something profound but I have forgotten what I was going to write. So sorry for the mindless babble and I will tell you about some more crazy japan later! Kiss to Thomas thanks for your emails.
Bye... I am having a vague day....
posted by Claire English @ 9:12 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2001

Hello....
Are we all ready to hear about yet another strange japanese school ritual? Well too bad you are hearing about it anyway. Today is health check day. It is basically a full day of total and utter privacy invasion. It begins with an eye test which was interesting to do considering I dont speak Japanese! 'Uhhh I think it is a circle with like a little dot thing in it??, Sorry I can see the kanji I just cant read it... I dont know okay I DONT KNOW' etc etc. Followed by the whole grade lining up to have their height and weight checked. I think my mass is equal to about 7 japanese school girls so we can all imagine my self-esteem at the moment!! I am telling myself it is all the muscles i have from volleyball..yes yes that must be it... oh dear... anyways...
My favourite is what comes after lunch! A full school breast examination! Yes you thought asking for a urine sample was a violation of privacy I don't even know where to begin with the breast check. The international students are free to say no. Thank god. It was almost worth all this stress just to see my anally retentive shy and embarassed male school principal trying to explain the process to miss swiss and I. He speaks very little english so he had to explain with gestures it was not only infuriating but also rediculously funny. This is such as strange frickin country. What Australian school would allow this sort of thing to take place???
Ah well you will see all the cultural differences become a normality soon. I will get home and wonder why Griffith havent asked for me to pee in a cup.
Its true though isnt it, I will stop noticing these things soon enough and this page will become a boring record of what i do at school everyday. Wow and even I dont want to hear about that!
My japanese art friends are taking me out to Karaoke next week. We have 4 days of holidays next week called golden week. Ooh 4 whole days, these people never rest I tell you! I bet most of them will work through it too!
I will write and tell you about my inevitably embarassing singing experience! Should be funny. I am the only english speaker so it will be a dictionary based convo day. *sigh* I miss you guys.
Okay I am off to stand in line and refuse to be groped by strange japanese doctors. Even though it is probably the closest I will get to physical contact in the next 9 months! But I am not that desperate yet.
One month today. Time flies doesnt it?!
Love you....
posted by Claire English @ 12:00 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2001

Hey everyone. You will have to excuse me for being tskareta (exhausted) this evening, but I just finished a good solid three hours at fighto-club (volleyball). To be frank it wasnt as tough today and I was a little disappointed. I was just getting to enjoy the whole 'I need to be hospitalised I will never breathe again' sensation. Oh well. There is always the other 10 hours of training a week where i can enjoy that feeling!
And yes. Yes the rumors are true. Thomas, Nell, Stephen and Sophie- I am coming clean. I am the new star in the Japanese dance bonanza at school. They have this rediculous festival called taikusai or something where there is a bake off, dance competition, and a musical competition between all the classes. There are alot of different things that you have to be involved in that i cant remember, but pretty much think of every chauvanistic male pig's idea of a perfect woman, and there will be some catagory relating to this. I havent stumbled upon the make-up application competition yet, but rest assured i am sure it is there!
Okay enough sarcasm. So yes, stupid Claire walks dazedly in to the gym only to be put in the FRONT ROW of the dance bonanza. THERE ARE 13 ROWS. I am in the first group of 4. Me, and three sticks, no wait they are far more flexible than sticks,and much faster, its me and 3 incredibly talented i-could-dance-before-i-could-walk pretty and perfect dancers. HAHAHAHAHHAH.
And wait it gets better. Who wants to know what we have to dance to???
Think of every angry bitter lonely persons worse nightmare. S club 7. Think of the lyrics I would rather die than be dancing and smiling happily to at this particular stage of my exchange 'Dont stop never give up hold your head high and reach the top let the world see what you have got bring it all back to you. You know its true what they say these times they aint easy...'
I'm sorry sclub 7 but what do you know about times not being easy? Have you ever been thrown in to a foreign country on your own with no friends or means of communication? AAGH It made me very aggressive! just for a change!!
There are 1200 people in my school. and each of those people have 2 parents. All of whom are going to be lining up to see me dance! Oh dear god what have i got myself in for?!!
It is a good job I love myself so damn much otherwise this would be very self-esteem destroying!!
I am actually not as sad and lonely as I make out. I love Tokyo. I really do. My host family are great. And I love the challenge this holds. I make myself laugh so much. I do the stupidest things and the great thing is I am not beating myself up about it because I am here to learn.
And I got the most fantastic letter today from my most favourite person in the whole world.
I will give you a hint. She is 5ft tall with grey and white hair and a great talent for making apple and cheese toasted sandwiches. Good ol' Gran. I miss the old duck. I ring her every few days, but it isnt the same. Sam go and visit her for me. Thanks!
Okay I am off to see if I can break both my arms to avoid dance practise.... Or maybe a leg would be better! Hmmm... I will keep you posted! night!
posted by Claire English @ 10:04 PM

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

Hello all my darlings...

YAY MY DRAWINGS ARE UP!
OKAY EVERYONE LETS HAVE THREE CHEERS FOR MY WONDERFUL CONNECTION TO THE CYBER WORLD- MEL!!
SHE IS ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SITE. EXCEPT THE CRUMMY DRAWINGS AND DIARY ENTRIES. I AM AFRAID I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THOSE.

Stephen and Nell stop telling me about all the fun group activities I am missing out on! Ugh I am sooo jealous. I miss our stupid group outings. I miss sitting in the backroom of Thomas' house with you guys (the doors open in summer, and rugged up in dooner in winter) and I even miss those times when thomas farted when we were all shut up with the heater on in the backroom and it was so bad it made you want to be sick...aaaaah those were the days... I need therapy.
No seriously. Anyone who misses Thomas farting needs psychological assistance. I have to say that Stephen you have been the best emailer so far. The rest of you move your arses along.
Japan, is fine. I am getting better at speaking. It is reallly realllly exciting. I am still total rubbish but atleast I can successfully order coffe and cake now!
I have finally sorted out my subjects so that i am no longer doing physics, biology, health studies, or classical japanese. Thank goodness for that I can tell you that physics in japanese is very little fun and when you are crap at it in english let me tell you, you don't get any better in a foreign language!!
I am however still doing mass amounts of art (atleast 6 hours a week) cooking (dont laugh) sport (yes thats right more of my favourite thing- RUNNING!) current literature and world history. Which, I naturally dont understand a word of yet, but it is funny how much i have learned in 3 weeks so who knows in 9 and a half months i maybe able to order a whole meal on my own! Dont worry i am not pushing myself too hard.
I NEED A HUG. SOOOO BAD. A REALLY BIG LONG HELLO I AM BACK HUG.
Meh. Not much to be done about that. Just know that I think about you guys all the time. And I am glad you had a good weekend Stephen and i honestly dont mind hearing about you and Loretta so long as you are happy! I wish I had someone to be goo goo over it is very boring being partner free!!
Take Care everyone i am off home from school now. I just wagged world history. It is the most boring subject known to man.
See you in 9 months and 1 week.
posted by Claire English @ 2:54 PM

Friday, April 13, 2001

Hello all....
I firstly want to tell sam that i am very touched by his entry in the guestbook... you are never far from my thoughts.... Anyways.
and secondly that this entry is going to be a half-arsed verstion of the one I wrote last night and some how lost, so those of you with special powers see if you can mentally conjure up the one i wrote last night and read that instead.

Ahhh I am finally finished school for the weekend. No school this Saturday (for some reason) so I am free to sleep in. And I need it! This week I was asked to pick a club sport to join...hahahahha! and me being an ignorant westerner (okay okay a stupid gaijin i admit it) thought that the two hours of volley ball wouldn't be too exhausting considering the lack of running involved in a small volleyball court... Oh dear. The utter stupidity.
Oh by the way Katie, our ingenious fool proof plan to join a sweat-free exercise club (Badminton) turned out to have already been thought of by the fat looser kids. Sorry to be blunt. But I did try Badminton club only to find that I wouldnt fit in unless i discovered a strange affinity for chess and put on about 30kg.
So being me I thought well volleyball doesnt seem to tough. And i asked around and it turned out there were other people joining who told me they had never played before and were very bad. Ofcourse i was forgetting the japanese modesty wasn't I? I forgot that 'I am very bad' in japanese actually translates to ' I would be considered of olympic standard in your country.'
So little old me rocks up to Volleyball training (still tired from fat looser club that I had played the day before) only to find all these rakely athletic girls stretching up like they were about to run a marathon. And yes, yes they were.
I am sure most of you have seen me run. The one that looks like a cross between a penguin a duck and a frighteningly directionless boulder rolling down a mountain. Well yes. I had 20 minutes of sprints, followed by muscle training (I still dont actually know what that is, but trust me i know how it feels) followed by some heathen deathly activity referred to as 'run ando spiiko' or run and spike. The only thing funnier than me running is me attempting to run and then propell my body through the air whilst aiming to hit a ball. I honestly thought I was going to die. My head and my heart were thumping at the same time like something you would hear in the dance floor above ricks in the valley. I had one mouthful of water incase I felt like puking and still ended up wanting to hurl my lunch from 3 days before and the whole time the leaders were screaming at the top of their lungs in this frightening chant 'FIGHTO' (this means fight) to which you had to reply in the same tone 'HAIIII' (this means yes) for 2 hours! I thought I was in some strange nazi camp. i wanted to scream LOOK AT ME! I LOOK LIKE I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO BADMINTON! PLEASE LET ME GO! I AM INNOCENT. But no instead I screamed HAIIII at the top of my somewhat functionless lungs and kept on running.
I think the whole thing is funny in retrospect. But I can tell you I am not looking forward to training on Monday. I am going to come back fit and butch like some asian swimmer... Look out!!
Okay I am tired. Someone call me I feel very lonely! doesnt anyone love me?
bye bye guys.... from the volleyball champ...

posted by Claire English @ 4:42 PM

Sunday, April 08, 2001

Just a quick note to show everyone how little i understand this place...
Today I was at the zoo and i noticed in the aquarium that the word for eel was unagi. I then made the connection later this afternoon (after finishing one of my favourite snacks- a crunchy caramel flavoured biscuit) that the same word unagi was written on the packaging.
I questioned my host mother only to find that my favourite biscuits were infact caramelized eel.
Oh my dear god! agh!
How is this possible!?
There is a lesson to be learned from this children - eat things first and ask questions later. Otherwise there is no way i would be sitting here typing this to you whilst indulging in my favourite biscuits. Caramelised eel! YUM!!
posted by Claire English @ 3:25 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2001

Well well well... it is the 7th today and you know what that means? My first day at school! how exciting....yes well.
It was certainly an experience that is for sure, and atleast this time I didn't leave the grounds wanting to wack my head against a brick wall repeditively just to make sure I was alive. That was what happened last time I was there on my school 'tour' with my area rep and exchange rep who did not even make eye contact with me or answer any of my questions for 3 hours (I thought I was dead and was following them around like some kind of spirit) so I guess it was an improvement!
This time infact i had far too much attention! (shame on me- when will I be content!?) we all know how much I love attention, but when you have a screaming mass of 1200 Japanese school girls all waiting to hear you speak your crappy self introduction its a little closer to scary than ego-satisfying! It was so funny. I was first out of the three gaijin (slang for westerners) to speak so I had no idea what to expect. I started off with good morning (ohiogozaimasu) only to find that 1200 people responded with the same greeting! I then said my name and had 1200 people respond in chorus ''Hello Claire'' then I did my speech and constantly throughout had to deal with '' Burizuben (brisbane) sooo desuka (is that so?)'' as well as ''Kawaii sooo'' (How cute)!
By the end of my speech I wasn't sure who had done more speaking, me or them! and I was trying soooo hard not to giggle you have no idea!
But yeah it was interesting. It would have been far less irritating if I hadn't had to change my shoes 6 times, but you need six different pairs for six different reasons! so I guess I will just have to conform! agh!
I was given two things that interested me today. Both in the last 10 minutes of school (we finish at 12 on saturdays). THe first was a box of Obento which is a traditional japanese sweet cake candy sort of thing. It is shiny and made of bread on the outside and is filled with a sugary substance which has the consistency of fudge. And the other thing is my favourite (sorry sam this will ruin the tape for you but anyways) the final thing given to me was a small empty bottle. I stared at it blankly as my teacher handed it to me on my way out the door. She smiled and said to me ''Please fill with your urine and return on monday''
and then proceeded to shut the door in my dumbfounded face.
I'm sorry but you really do have to laugh. What the hell do they want my piss for?! *giggle*
And finally another of the funny things about my school toilets... Someone today showed me the button for water spraying your butt clean and then blow drying it.... My bottom will be so pampered! It is like having a facial! on your ass! Those crazy japanese! What will they do next?
Between their obsession with bathrooms and toilets and badly drawn cartoon characters I often wonder if i will ever understand the japanese mind set- but we will see....
Aaah yes. Life is good. Life is funny. Life is interesting, but life is still a little lonely. I wish i was the same age as the swiss girl and spanish girl but they are both 15 and i feel that i have little in common with them. I think the swiss girl implied that I was cynical and negative today! excuuuuse me I am funny!!! Well I think I am so that is what really counts when you dont have anyone else to impress. Dammit, I am my own bestfriend!
Think of me and write to me. Thanks for your messages in the guest book, they always make me smile!

posted by Claire English @ 10:52 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2001

Well considering all the thinking I have been doing since I got here its funny how the little mindless things are so fantastic! I went to Harajuku today and you know what that means? SHOPPING!! It was sooo much fun. I went with Sanae and Natsuki who are my adopted cousins and it was FABULOUS. I can't wait for Katie and Rose to get here, we will have sooo much fun! It was kind of like the valley is in brisbane, dangerous at night but full of the funkiest peopleby day. And in Tokyo everyone is funky so the funkiest of the funky are pretty much mind blowing material! They buy these insane technocolour orange and red wigs and wear then under these awesome hats! And they are all in coloured fishnets with the most UNBELIEVABLE shoes and, and.... No offence Loretta but harajuku makes Honor-lulu look like some kind of bad 80`s fashion mishap. These people are the kind of people you could sit down and watch all day. They are like little pixie boys and girls with little tiny angular features and high-cheek bones and coloured clothes and you almost wait for them to come up to you and tell you they will grant you three wishes- but they don't. Infact they don't really look at anyone but themselves in these little hand mirrors every three seconds. Thomas you would fit in so well! Just Jokes. And I haven't even got to the best bit yet... THE GOTHS!
These people define cool. They are the most amazing people I have ever seen. They are goths obviously but they aren't dressed in old style clothes. They are dressed in the most space age black clothes ever invented. They look like little black and white dolls dresses but bigger and short and better. They are like nothing you have ever seen. They have white faces and almost dreadlock hair but cleaner looking. And they have this attitude and air and atmosphere that make you pretty close to speechless. You just stare. And they love it. They live and breathe attention. you can practically see them purr with pleasure at your dropped jaw! This is where the studded necklaces and bracelets belong. I have finally found someone who pulls them off!
Sam, you asked where the world was going now that even Supre think they are doing the funky look. This is it.
So yeah. It was a good day. I want to go there and people watch all day. They have cool market stalls too in this kind of alley way on the way there and they are much cheaper than the shops, but you have to look harder to find the clothes you want.
I WANT MORE MONEY. I would buy everything if i could. don't worry I am not going to come back goth. I really couldn't pull that one off! But i will buy the coloured clothes, I always was a colour girl.
There is some great music here too if you look hard enough. Today I listened to some great 'no doubt-esque' music called Love Psychedelico by the greatest hits... It has about half and half in japanese and english so I would love to buy it eventually when I will understand it! I listened to it in HMV which they have here... so if I need to buy western music I can. For about 50 aussie dollars a cd!
I am eating the best food! My host mother makes a killer smoked salmon salad kind of thing and the tofu I could survive on for the rest of my life. YUMMMM. I usually hate tofu but the japanese do it so well. I am in love with miso soup despite the fact I have it coming out of my ears (dont talk to me about rice) and I am even managing to stomach raw meat. not raw tamago (egg) yet but I guess I will try.
I miss you all soo much it hurts.
I just wish I could take you all with me to all these amazing places and talk about what you think about my ghost-seeing superstitious mother and philosophical foreigner hating father! But you aren't here and you've never met them so it makes things a little bit tougher. I barely know the japanese for 'which bus is it?' , let alone 'do you think your life is dictated by chance or choice?' which is the question i really want to ask them. I have no idea what they think about these things that are a little deeper than necessity. But I am here to learn. Just know that I miss you and love you very much. I sent you a letter Katie. I sound suicidal but dont worry I am not!! It was a bad day!
bye!
posted by Claire English @ 5:38 PM

Monday, April 02, 2001

wow sorry about yesterdays writings. what a gloomy peice of rubbish. sorry. I am actually feeling fine. I love my host family- well except their hideous dogs. THEY HAVE 2 DOGS EXACTLY LIKE WOWSIE. I hate them! they hate me! they are white and small. kind of like white furry crooked teethed footballs. I am having to work hard not to kick them. really hard. okay enough homosidal tendancies!
My room is great. It is a japanese style tatami room and I sleep on a roll up futon. It is on the second floor and I have paper shades with bamboo edging on my windows and door it lets light in and gives my room a fairy like atmosphere. it is great. I love it.

I had a beautiful bath this morning and wished someone was here to bathe with me! my host parents bathe together because the bath is quite large. It is a really large steaming tub that you soak in after washing yourself on a little stool facing a long mirror. when you are clean you can get in the bath. When you are finished you roll up a long foam sheet over the top to keep it warm.... aaaaah nice!

They had a welcome party (yokoso) for me last night.... it was so cute. I ate a whole lot. the foood is good here! i made friends with the neice who is about my age and we went shopping together and had those photo stickers taken. it was so nice of her. We are going to go to a japanes music concert together sometime- yay!

Before I went to bed I decided to be studious and so i asked my haha (mother) what I needed to improve and what she thought I needed to know that I had not understood in our conversations. She just looked at me and said '' You need to learn to relax, learning japanese is not writing things down, you could have done that in Australia. That is not what you are here for.�@You here to be japanese. You will learn the words along the way. Please slow down and learn to be content''
Atleast I think that is what she said (it was in a mix of japlish). That reminded me a lot of what people at home said to me and I realised she was right. So i am off now. off to be japanese. I am relaxed. And content. For now! bye bye. Thanks also to thomas and nell and katie and caitlin for your emails. A big kiss to all of you.
posted by Claire English @ 1:22 PM

Sunday, April 01, 2001

Hello finally!
I am in Tokyo, at my host family... and believe it or not my japanese is actually working! I have been here a couple of hours and we have barely used the dictionary at all! yay!
THis is such a strange place to be. It is just like a weird dream. I wander around shadowing people not really knowing where I am going or why I am going there and have simple things like banks and telephones and postoffices explained to me as if I have some kind of mental disorder or something and even when they explain these things you still can not do them on your own so that you practically have to rely on the kindness of strangers... and to be frank they are not the most open and accomodating of people.
I know it is only because I am not used to their ways yet but I have always been a fairly blunt in your face kind of girl and to bottle up my thoughts when I find things annoying is just not really my style. I think they are very generous and giving and they will go out of their way to help you- you just are not able to tell if they are totally pissed off about having to do it or not. It is the strangest thing.
Tokyo is fantastic to look at. Particuarly the cherry blossoms by day and the neon lights by night. It was great being free to prowl in Tokyo with the other students... But I am getting ready to settle down in to domestic life again now.... wish me luck! I love you guys... write me letters as it takes up a lot of time to reply via email and it is an imposition on my family.... take care
posted by Claire English @ 12:45 PM