Friday, December 21, 2001

IT'S SNOWING!!! Weeee!
posted by Claire English @ 2:17 PM

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Host Families. its not about learning japanese to be able to live with them, its about learning what their pet hates are, what seemingly inexplicable things give them the shits, how you need to act around them, what level of intimacy they can stand, what they hate but won't tell you they hate...etc...etc...etc. Its a whole truck load harder (I'm so clever with my imaginary swear words) than learning japanese I can tell you that much. And their are about 7 million books about it. But no book is going to tell you that if you don't replace the face towel in your bathroom after every use your host mother may turn icy cold and start talking to you less. It will tell you that when your host family are angry they often bottle it up until they snap. The book will not tell you that this will make you feel lower than 'the mould on the life forms feeding on the pond scum' or however it was Julia Roberts put it in My best Friends Weeding (Oh did my typo just make a joke? How cute.) It will NOT and I repeat because i think i have researched about 6.9 million of the 7 million books, It will not tell you how your family will want you to react to this blow up. How could it? Its just something you have to learn from living with them and I obviously havent learned that yet. It will not tell you that after eating half a bag of Oreo Cookies and writing christmas cards to everyone you have ever met, you will STILL no thave any inspiration on what you should do, or anymore courage to crawl out of your bed and go down stairs.
The book will tell you this is normal, and an important part of finding a compromise (between your previous lifestyle and your new one?)
It will not tell you what an enormous change that will involve. Or that the word compromise doesn't neccessarily mean a compromise beween your life and theirs but more a compromise of your previous life completely. In some cases a complete and utter sacrifice of any of the independance you once had. Its hard. It will mean you learn to live their way of face a nasty, lonely, flippping confusing year. And don't think I use the word flipping lightly (this whole trying not to swear thing is geting to me.) And even when you think you are finally getting a hang of this host family business 8 and a half months in to your stay... One day for reasons unpredicted by you, your host mother will scream angrily down the phone at you in feirce nasty japanese, because you didnt tell her you were stopping off for a 20 minute coffee before coming home, even though there was never a set curfew and you didnt think 10:30 was too late...Confused? I know I certainly am.
Ah well. I guess its back to the Oreo's and postcards until she decides I am worthy of her eye contact (let alone conversation) again.
Yes its a case of those nasty cultural differences again...
(And no, my inner gaijin is not answering my calls of desperation for overly confident, self-loving righteousness, and belief I am over and above the japanese childish mind set- it seems she thinks I screwed up too...)
posted by Claire English @ 11:43 AM

Tuesday, December 04, 2001

Ooh how time is sucked down the plughole of oblivion!! Sorry, my head is full of toilet talk and nondescript metaphors due to just finishing one of Kaz Cookes books. She's frighfully funny, but I am afraid after reading it I was somewhat convinced that in order to make myself (and this page) more entertaining I should start calling the various aggrivating authorities in my life names like Mr- Poopy-Woopy-where's-my-Booty-head. etc. Did it work? are you laughing?
Anyway enough about you, back to me! This week I decided to skip art and go to calligraphy to visit Andi and Sawako etc. They were busy putting Andi and Rosario's names in to japanese script, so I got mine done too. My name (they know me too well!) is made up of two parts 1. Kure- they chose a picture that means Red. 2. A- they chose A from Asia. So my japanese name translates as Red Asia. See in the same day I managed to find my japanese name, and a highly suitable name should I ever wish to return to Japan and dance on tables whilst removing my clothes for a living. I consider that a sucessful afternoon. My host family tried to find a less provocative Kanji, but naturally I cant remember those ones anymore. I am sticking with the strip name. I think its kind of cool.
Speaking of being provocative gaijin, I had an interesting convo with Jess today about the secret to being popular in japanese schools. Its having a boyfriend. That's all you need. Wait I will post a bit of it, 'Yeah I love how having a boyfriend makes you popular in this country. I swear all you need to have to take over an entire girls school is tell them you have a boyfriend who vaguely resmebles Leonardo diCaprio. Even a leo that looks like his face was in a blender, barely reaches 2 feet tall (all the better here) and recently graduated with twin merit certificates from viagra rehab and sexaholics anonymous would do. See? I have discoverd the elixir of popularity, but it tasted like brown bitter Macha tea so I couldnt force myself to drink it. I prefer my fanta flavoured existance thank you. Even if it doesnt involve blendered, too short over sexed Leo's. Am I crazy? Yes, quite possibly.'
It goes on a bit more but that's basically the drift. If you have photos with a guy they assume you are dating. I am sure I look like a complete floosy. But being called Red Asia, I have an excuse. I have a name to live up to. Pooh. Anyway.

Sorry this is a bit disjointed but some of the others asked me to post the lyrics to Costume Jewels, which is a song I wrote a while back for those of us who are not white trash in Tokyo,or atleast we are working hard bnot to be, but understand that there is enough around to have earned ourselves the lable....!
Costume Jewels
The line is long
The trains are full
They're so different,
Costume jewels...

Foreigners in fake leather jackets
Snuggling in thier faux fur mufflers
Watch them flick their bleached blond hair
Watch them soak in every stare

We don't know outdated faux pas
We don't care for your rules
We're so special, Can't you see?
Can't you see we're costume jewels?

The line is long
The trains are full
We're so special,
Costume Jewels...

Shiseido dripping from their red lips
Harajuku fashion's all the rage
Watch us re-invent your culture
American flags are centre stage

Foreigners dealing thrills surreal
Taste it you'll be back for more
Tokyo- it is their playground
Watch them break the Geisha down

We don't know outdated faux pas
We don't care for your rules
We're so special, can't you see?
Can't you see we're costume jewels?

It obviously would sound better sung than read, but now you all know that not only do I write strange disjointed diary entries, but songs as well. Dont get me started on the poetry I have been writing.. haha...
My host mum helped me with the shock of the nasty guy in the train so I am sort of okay about leaving the house again. hurray! ..
Off to bed now, Red Asian love to all of you... xx
posted by Claire English @ 11:15 PM